EI v AI
One of our saving graces and maybe the last bastion of humanity is that, as of yet, no AI can display credible emotional intelligence. AI is essentially built on processing, copy and pasting data at an exponentially fast rate but you can’t copy human emotions. Therefore AI works at the extreme dispassionate end of the emotional scale, because our species would be doomed if they had real emotions and became irate like a science-fiction movie robot gone bad. We should celebrate this temporary victory and use it to our advantage. Mastering EI could be our hedge against AI to retain a modicum of workplace value.
“Instinct occupies the tiny space between rashness and reaction”
Firstly, we have something special going for us: instinct. The most powerful AIs such as ChatGPT, are trained on large language models and endless parameters, and are tasked with priorities to make them notice patterns, because unlike us, they have no gut instinct and lived experience. Naturally one would assume that makes them better drivers but we must be careful not to confuse human instinct with impulsiveness or rashness, which are negative qualities that can indeed lead to a crash.
Instinct occupies the tiny space between rashness and reaction. I believe it is built on an underlying framework comprised of experience and judgment. So in the blink of an eye, a quarterback will throw a thread-the-needle pass against the agreed upon play, a footballer will crack a remarkable 25-yard volley or a tennis player will hit an impossible return to hush the crowd. With the car situation, in a split-second a human driver will avoid a mother and pram to “see and accept what happens” if he then smashes into the railings, whereas a machine will run them over to avoid the potential of causing or suffering greater harm based on probability data. There is a trace of calculation in the human driver’s split-second reaction which is instinct.
In contrast, the player overcome with panic, who “snaps” at a shot is an example of rashness. The one who dutifully controls the ball and passes it on, displays one of the 99.99% of the actions we all take, and that is reaction. But the get-off-your-seat, net-bulging top corner volley is Marco Van F*****g Basten. That’s instinct.
That is another beautiful trait of EI, that it does not have to douse the flame of spontaneity and in fact, managed correctly, can embrace and in some cases foster intuition. Now, in protest one could cite Messi’s body feints that have put full-backs on the bus to Badalona. Or Ali’s water-dancing flurries, and Sachin Tendulkar’s poetic cover-drives. We say, “you can’t teach that” and it’s true. But inventively, all of them, used their instinct as part of their EI to know when to use their flair and when not to. Just as a crouching tiger’s whisker will let her know when to hunt.
Additionally, all of these supreme athletes had a backup, an exit strategy. They’re not all flash like the five-minute-famous players missing from the annals of history. EI teaches the greats that their flair is as precious as the magic in a genie’s bottle. Messi is also the best passer in the world. Ali danced in, but also out and around while downloading a matrix of range, timing and accuracy unrivalled by any fighter in history. A true genius knows where and when to use their genius. And that knowledge is EI.
Secondly, another middle-finger to AI: influence. It may not seem like it given the amount of dependence and influence we seem to be under from AI but that’s partly self-administered. True influence would be akin to a machine coaxing you to literally pick up your phone, or whispering in your ear to vote against your values. Aldous Huxley predicted such pernicious technology with sleep-talking pillows, but right now, there’s no machine that can truly influence a conscious, sentient and aware person. Chat-bots, troll farms and simulated news feeds are ultimately run by humans. People are the ones controlling technology, so right now they’re the ones we need to worry about at work.
There be Machiavellis in the shadows eyeing your desk: competitors, colleagues, bosses et al. The Italian EI grandmaster himself said, “Discipline in war counts more than fury”. Influence is about mental control and mind games, and the best athletes incorporate it into their EI toolset by winning the fight before the fight.
Ali was a master of out-psyching his opponents, albeit overboard in the case of Joe Frazier, but it became his style and elevated his legend. Kobe Bryant famously shoved his best-friend Pau Gasol to the floor in the 2008 Olympic final to get into his head, before the USA went on to a historic win. Arnold Schwarzenegger amusingly out-Jedied Lou Ferrigno ahead of Mr. Olympia 1975, documented in Pumping Iron. Managers lay bait all the time in the press and the workplace can be just as scheming.
How do we protect our minds against these dark arts? Improving your EI will heighten awareness of yourself and thereby reveal who is influencing you and, how in return, you can influence them. You will begin spotting people’s behaviour, gestures and patterns and form accurate judgments that will tailor your EI around them. You will open their playbook in your mind.
Tom, will now bite his lip and moderate his opinions around Naveed, because he knows Nav loves the sound of his own voice. Asha will prepare a list of talking points ahead of the big Zoom knowing a competitor Sally, has joked to the boss about her being quieter than a church mouse. A trolling colleague may need a firm chat, directly or via a messenger, and we can’t forget to wield influence positively, when a struggling team member, like poor old Gazza, may need to be seen and given a pep talk. Used correctly, EI clears the mental fog, opens the battlefield and elevates you so you can see with bird’s eye vision.
So how do we acquire or improve our EI? I’ve researched six shortcuts that elite athletes or successful leaders use, or ones I’ve used myself, which are more in line with mastering EI naturally like Argentina did than forcing it.
But before we can continue we must set an overarching premise: You need a goal for EI to work. Athletes want to win, be it top-scorer or become a legend, that turbo charges their EI.
Without a goal, you might as well be at home. And it’s fine to use EI there and in other social domains, but as much as people tell us to “be ourselves” no employer really wants that and as a rule will fire you the moment you are. We have to modulate ourselves during work if we want to be successful. So find a goal, be it promotion, being liked or a pay-rise.
1. HOW TO GET HOTTER?
Use music to rouse your passion. Why do you think athletes are always lost inside their headphones? I have a ring-walk tune: my imaginary song if I were a boxer entering the ring, which always works to get me in the zone. It’s just the right mix of uplifting, smile-inducing and motivational. I can’t reveal it as I am writing an article about it, but don’t abuse your song or you’ll need to create an entire album––which could also be a good option depending on how challenging your work can be.
2. HOW TO GET COOLER?
Conjure a go-to mental image. Mine is a mountain hill station in north India replete with glacial lakes and routinely visited by a calm blue deity. It’s a serene picture I’ve seen in an image somewhere in my family home. Crucially it’s not something tear-jerky. Pep Guardiola famously played the heart-rending Gladiator soundtrack to gee up his Barcelona team ahead of a big cup game which made them cry and roused them like soldiers of Rome. They lost 3-0.
3. STAYING NEUTRAL
An optimal space to inhabit most of the time at work, depending on the job of course––a calm clown may not get work. Sitting-on-the-fence may be seen as a hindrance to your character, but as we’ve discussed, no one really cares about that at work these days and they’ve suffered plenty of their partner’s or family’s that morning, so likely don’t want any of yours. Save character for the office party, lunch with trusted colleagues or Friday meet-ups, but keep a watchful eye on your desk for a folded note to “report to the manager” on Monday morning.
How can we stay neutral? Now you’re less player and more referee. See both sides of the story, or distance yourself from a colleague’s tantrums or silences, while trying to navigate their emotions. I like to get help here from my favourite podcasts (and I, as you probably know, have my own on this very topic) that offer excellent, tried-and-tested mindsets to help you find a middle way.
4. STOICISM
On that note, here is an entire Greco-Roman philosophy built around moderating EI. Stoicism teaches you to not let other people’s actions dictate your feelings and state of mind and instead focus on facts. It advises to not be overcome by emotions and react impulsively to challenges by being thankful and worthy of them. In other words, welcoming the challenge as a learning experience to exhibit neutrality and evolve you as a dogged, unflinching soul.
“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.” – Seneca
The way of the Stoic suggest avoiding conflict and leading an ascetic life of moderation that allows you ignore the excesses of the outside to notice and work on yourself from the inside. And as we learned earlier, knowing yourself and cultivating your awareness will give you an unassailable level of EI.
“You have power over your mind – not outside events.” - Marcus Aurelius.
5. LOOK EAST: BUDDHISM, HINDUISM & YOGA
“Be like water,” Bruce Lee said. It’s beautifully simple. Water cools, heats and changes shape to match, adapt or control a situation. The Eastern mindset is a perfect companion for those mystically-inclined, and you can read philosophies such as Miyamoto’s Book of Five Rings or ancient texts like the Upanishads where you will find yourself caught in a gentle breeze toward balance. Some people may prefer yoga or meditation as a secular conduit toward a mind-palace of self-examination and mental and physical peace.
Contrary to belief, the ancient Chinese yin-yan concept, or the Yuga cycles in Hinduism, are in fact periods of chaos followed by ages of balance, rather than the lock-step that the swirling logo suggests.
The point is we may not always exert control over our EI. It will constantly change shape affected by environmental pressure. But if the intention, the final logo as it should be, is clear then your control over your emotions will lead you to the right path.
How do we know it’s the right one? I believe the shape of our path comes from the steps we do not take. Similarly a robust and insightful EI will rise from the person you do not wish to be known as, or the reputation you do not want to have. In some ways gaining dominance over your EI could help refine your true character into the best version of you at work or even home.
6. KEEP A WORK DIARY
Write a morning page about your daily goals or make a journal entry about tomorrow’s.
Type or voice a note in your phone on the commute about how you feel about your main challenges or a prickly colleague, what you can do to change the relationship’s dynamics, and how you can improve your EI more generally. Be aware, or mark down, when it’s the right time to call in a long-owed favour, go on the charm-offensive or start making those sandwich-runs.
King Henry VIII’s master serpent-at-arms, Thomas Cromwell had a list of the people he owed or was owed favours and noted the activities and dietary pleasures those people enjoyed. Make me a cup of tea the right shade of brown without a trace of tea-bag silt, you got me in your pocket.
Now, come to think of that employer’s ad, emotional intelligence is clearly more than a bullet-point in a job spec. It’s a workplace, life and social superpower against the age of AI. Unlike the comics this ability is real and is inside us. It’s up to us to know when and how much to turn our hot and cold taps. But done correctly, there will a time when we don’t need the taps anymore and can finally be like water.